Entering a Split Personality — Chapter 29

Fan Shen kissed him very softly, like a feather, making Xiao He feel slightly itchy. He couldn’t help but shrink back. He smiled dazedly and said, “You loved to bite me when you were a kid, but now you rarely even touch me.”

His words made Fan Shen return from his dreams to reality. He frowned, concealed the desire in his eyes, and stifled the emotions in his heart.

Xiao He was drunk, but he was still his father.

He could take the opportunity to do something, but what about after Xiao He woke up? 

Everything would be over.

He had endured for so many years, so how could he be defeated now?

Fan Shen looked up and said in a heavy voice, “It's because I’ve grown up.”

Xiao He felt dizzy, and when he heard him say this, he felt pretty upset at heart.

Yeah, he’s grown up, so he doesn’t need to be close to his father anymore. He’s grown up, so he won’t act spoiled or cute anymore, he’s grown up...so he’ll slowly grow more and more distant.

Xiao He came to this world for the sole purpose of raising him until adulthood, but when he was really about to be done raising him, he almost drowned in this desolate sadness.

After drinking, it was hard for people to avoid forgetting themselves. With all the things Xiao He had packed away into his heart over the last few days, it was even easier for him to get drunk.

Fan Shen took care of him very thoughtfully, taking off his clothes, and carefully supporting him in the shower. Soaked in warm water, Xiao He actually grew more and more muddle-headed.

He seemed vaguely to have returned to that gorgeous palace. 

The silver-haired elf treated him very well. Every time the two of them were in the bath, Xiao He always relied on him and didn’t move.

Ayr would caress him, kiss him, and in that comfortably warm water, he’d bring him to the heights of pleasure.

Having tasted desire, his body was more easily aroused than before.

He missed Ayr, and he thought of him all the time. In the dead of night, he’d take up those drawings and look at them over and over, thinking of him again and again. He didn’t dare to forget the slightest thing, nor could he.

He knew that he had to cure Fan Shen, but there was a voice in his heart that kept telling him something.

Even if Fan Shen was well, he’d lose Ayr in the end.

He’d lose a man who had been so good to him.

No matter what, they’d miss out on each other. 

His Ayr would disappear forever in the end.

When he thought of this, the pain that spread from his chest almost drowned him completely.

Hazily, he saw the person beside him about to leave, and his heart suddenly seized with pain. He reached out and pulled at him.

“Don’t...don’t go, don’t leave me behind.”

Fan Shen’s heart jumped. He turned and looked back, and his pupils abruptly shrank.

The scene before his eyes was like a poppy in full bloom. It was the peak of beauty, and simultaneously dangerous to the extreme.

His Xiao He had damp hair, and he was completely naked. Sparkling and translucent water droplets were his only adornment, but in Fan Shen's eyes, they still marred that body. 

After all, he didn’t even dare to touch him too much, but those droplets could wantonly flow over him. 

If he could, he wanted to kiss them dry and make them disappear, so that Xiao He's body would belong only to him.

But in reality, in all the world, he was the one who was least qualified to possess him.

Fan Shen didn’t know how much more he could endure. He wanted to go get a bath towel for him, but Xiao He pulled on him.

Using an expression, a voice and a position like that.

If he wasn’t drunk, and if they weren’t father and son, he’d believe he was giving him an invitation.

Like a passionate siren, he was seducing him with that beautiful body, those damp eyes, and that tempting appearance.

But actually, Xiao He didn’t need to do it this way at all. Even if he was wearing clothes, Fan Shen would still be thinking about how to take them off. Even if Xiao He was calling out “son,” he’d be fantasizing about kissing him. Even if he kept talking about the past, what appeared in his mind would be a vision of possessing him, violating him, and making him his. 

Fan Shen lowered his eyes and said in a rough voice, “I’m going to get you a towel.” 

Xiao He looked up at him through the steam that rose in the air, his wine-flushed face a tempting color. He couldn’t clearly hear what Fan Shen was saying. He just thought he was really good-looking.

His Ayr was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. His Ayr was the one who treated him the best out of everyone in his life. His Ayr...was his true love. 

But he had lost him.

When he thought of this, Xiao He couldn’t help the rims of his eyes reddening. He stood up in the water and threw his arms around Fan Shen. “Don’t go, stay with me.” 

Please, please stay with me.

Even if it was a dream, he wanted it to last a little longer.

It wasn’t the wine that intoxicated him, but Xiao He who got himself drunk. With this unexpected touch, it was as if he had opened the floodgates on the feelings he’d suppressed for more than ten years, and once let out they were beyond his control.

Xiao He missed him, missed him so much that every night, he only fell asleep hours past midnight.

He didn’t know how long he’d miss him for, and he didn’t know when it would end.

Could he still recover the time that had slipped through his fingers?

If only he could, he was willing to pay with everything he had.

Grief and despair filled his chest. Xiao He embraced him out of fear, he held him out of desire, and finally he kissed him to make him stay. 

He owed him. Ayr was so good to him, but he...what did he do? 

When he had him he didn’t think about it, but when he lost him, the days they spent together turned to frozen images, endlessly repeating, endlessly recalled, endlessly upsetting him.

He’d never even properly kissed him before.

Was it okay if he kissed him now?

Warm lips met his own, and Xiao He impatiently forced the other’s mouth open. 

But when their lips and tongues intermingled, passion surged through him like a tingling electric current, instantly rushing through his entire body, and almost melting his brains to mush.

Xiao He’s heart trembled slightly, and he wanted more.

And Fan Shen, who was holding him, had completely lost control.

With his own hands, Xiao He had snapped a cord that had long been stretched taut. The emotions Fan Shen had suppressed surged out violently. He had endured silently for so many years, and he had longed for him for so many years. There was never a time that he wasn’t dreaming of him, but now, he’d offered himself up on his own. 

There was no temptation greater than this, and there was no attack more deadly than this.

Fan Shen couldn’t take it anymore. All of his excuses, all of his senses and all of his morals were flung to the back of his mind.

He liked him. He loved him. For as long as he'd had awareness, he’d only had him in his eyes.

But why couldn’t he belong to him?

He could give up wanting anything else, he could abandon everything, but just give Xiao He to him, okay?

He just wanted him. Just having him was enough.

Fan Shen responded to him. With his heart full of unalterable longing, with desperation rushing up from his chest, he kissed him recklessly.

It was really beautiful, hundreds, thousands of times more beautiful than he had imagined.

His soft lips, his sweet taste, his voice and his gasps for breath all bewitched his senses.

He knew that by tasting this he was stepping into hell, but he had no second thoughts.

At least he had a taste, at least he obtained it. Even if he only had one minute, it was enough to remember for a lifetime. 

The two men fell into the bath. Xiao He's clothes were in the way, so Fan Shen pulled them off. In the midst of the spreading ripples, they embraced each other.

Xiao He reached the peak of pleasure, and then it was boundlessly magnified. Through a haze, he felt immense satisfaction.

He’d finally found him, and he finally had him again.

They kissed each other and became inseparable in the midst of intense passion. In the last moments of his climax, Xiao He embraced him and shouted lowly, “Ayr...Ayr…I love you...Ayr.”

***

2 hours and 42 minutes for 1,539 words, or 10.5 minutes for every 100 words. An increase in rate by 0.6 minutes...sigh.

🤦‍♀️Great job, Xiao He... Ay, how’s he gonna feel when he wakes up…

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Comments

  1. Ahhhhhh MC's gonna get himself wrecked saying Ayr. Wah. Poor Fan Shen... Hope he finds out later that they aren't really blood related. But at the same time MC raised FS as a son. So changing the dynamic will be a bit difficult. Especially since MC is still hung up on ML's Ayr personality.

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  2. This hurts me a lot. Thanks for the chapter

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  3. Shit! The last sentence is buuuurrns!!

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  4. Fudge! Did I just setup a flag!? Poor ML :(

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  5. bruh it's giving me chu mu yun vibes when he is acting 😭😭

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