Entering a Split Personality — Chapter 41

Thank you Lulith for the constant support! 🌸🌺🌹

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Fan Shen...disappeared.

Fan Shen...destroyed this mental world.

Xiao He’s heart felt desolate. He’d said a lot, but he didn’t know if his Little Fan had heard it or not.

This lasted until there was only darkness before him, and Xiao He fell unconscious. When he woke up again, he felt like he’d returned to another lifetime.

A white room and a white bed. The man behind him was the only color.

Xiao He sat up and hugged him in a panic, so afraid it was as if once he let go, he’d disappear for real.

The door of the room opened, and Qin Su strode in.

When Xiao He heard a human voice, he finally came back to himself and calmed down.

He didn’t want someone else to see him losing his self-control, so Xiao He took a deep breath, let go of Fan Shen and sat down on a chair on the side.

Qin Su didn’t say much, and just got straight to the point. “You’ve completed your task. The instruments show that another personality has merged in.”

Xiao He nodded, pain still stabbing his heart.

Qin Su gave him a glass of warm water. “Here.” 

Xiao He received it, cupped it in his hands and took a sip.

Water was the most ordinary of things, but when someone felt helpless, having a cup of warm water was a great comfort. 

They were quiet for a while. When Xiao He’s emotions had settled down completely, Qin Su said, “Can you tell me what you've experienced?”

Xiao He made a noise in response, and then slowly opened his mouth.

His life with Little Fan definitely didn’t have as many twists and turns as it did with Ayr. Their days were mostly simple and inconsequential, empty to the point that only the two of them were left.

But when he remembered these kinds of days, the pain that stirred in his heart was so intense.

When he had them, he felt that they were only ordinary, but once he lost them he panicked.

Eighteen years. It turned out that Fan Shen had long since become a part of his life.

Eighteen years. It turned out that he’d long since been carved into his bones. 

His entire life in the real world didn’t add up to two times eighteen years, but he’d had another eighteen years with him in the mental world.

But now, it was all gone.

Xiao He finished speaking quietly, and Qin Su carefully finished recording it. After a long while, he finally said, “Looks like the treatment process was quite smooth this time.”

Compared with what happened in the land of the elves, this time it could indeed be called smooth.

But…

Xiao He didn’t make a sound. He felt like he was really useless. He’d said he’d cure Fan Shen, but actually, it was always Fan Shen making sacrifices for him in the end. 

Qin Su looked at him and said softly, “There’s no need to blame yourself, Mr. Xiao. You’ve already done your best. In the young master’s mental world, it’s impossible for anyone to defeat him. If he wants to wake up, he can only rely on himself. That you’re able to use this method to wake him up is already the best of possibilities.” 

Xiao He pursed his lips, still not speaking.

Qin Su sighed and continued comforting him. “You should think about it from a positive perspective. If this method works, then in future worlds, you just have to make the young master fall in love with you, and then tell him the truth at a suitable opportunity. He’ll choose to wake up for the sake of seeing you.”

Qin Su was right. He could get it done once and for all; he’d practically found a plan for curing him. 

But...the feeling in Xiao He’s heart was hard to describe. 

If he had no affection for Fan Shen, then he wouldn’t have any scruples. But since he had affection for him, once he thought of having to see an unfamiliar Fan Shen every time, fall in love with him, and then part again when they were finally both happy, this feeling of helplessness, defeat and exhaustion was enough to drive him mad.

But he couldn’t say this. Even if this wasn’t his job, for the sake of curing Fan Shen, he had to bear this.

“Yes.” Xiao He responded, “I’ll work according to this plan as much as possible.” 

Qin Su knew that Xiao He wasn’t good at pretending, so he added in a few more words. “You don’t have to deliberately do anything. You just have to be yourself and follow your heart, and he’ll be attracted to you.”

Xiao He stared blankly at him and said lowly, “I understand.”

When they were finished talking, Qin Su asked, “Do you want to go home?”

Xiao He did indeed need to rest a little, and he really missed his parents as well. 

Even outside of the mental world, more than half a year had passed in reality. He hadn’t seen his parents for such a long time that he was afraid they’d be concerned for him.

For the sake of avoiding further delay, Xiao He packed his things in the afternoon and returned home under Qin Su’s arrangements.

Qin Su gave him a card without a password, which was considered part of his commission.

Xiao He swiped it while buying presents for his parents, and he was flabbergasted when he looked at the balance.

In all his years, this was the first time he’d seen a million's worth of moolah!

He was really ostentatiously rich!

But no matter how much money he had...Xiao He, this damned otaku, felt that he didn’t really know how to spend it.

He wasn’t interested in cars (he’d better not mention something like how he hadn’t gotten a license or he’d lose face), he had no opinion on luxury goods, his apartment was enough to live in, and he didn’t have a girlfriend...okay, he practically had a boyfriend, and his boyfriend was rich. 

Damn, once Xiao He mulled it over, why did he feel like he was the female lead in a soap opera?

No, he had to man up and learn how to squander money. This was the money he’d honestly earned!

Okay, first he’d buy an outfit for mom, then a watch for his dad, then he had to buy an expensive purse for his little sister…

He bought a great heap of stuff. Xiao He got worried again; he couldn’t give this to them!

If he really gave it to them, he could still fool his parents, but wouldn’t that prodigy little sister of his expose his secret in a minute?

When the time came…

Forget it, he’d better wait a while longer. 

In the end, Xiao He only brought some ordinary things home.

But actually, when his parents saw that their son had returned, they were so happy they were grinning from ear to ear. How could they bother about what he’d brought?

It just so happened that Xiao He had missed Xiao Rong again. 

His mother complained, “Your sister only came back last week. She stayed one night and then ran off in a hurry. She’s living alone as a single woman, but she doesn’t want to hurry up and get married and have kids. She just has to go study some organisms and learn something or other, what’s the point?!!”

Xiao He smiled and coaxed his mother. “My little sis has promise, you should be happy!”

Seeing her son, his mother had smiling eyes, so though she complained, her words didn’t hold a bit of anger. She was just chatting about their everyday life.

It had been too long since they’d seen each other, so the family kept eating their meal until two or three in the afternoon. 

Xiao He drank a few glasses with his dad, and made him so happy he was grinning from ear to ear.

He’d left for too long, so when he came back this time he was a little reluctant to part with his parents.

Xiao He thought he might as well stay for a few more days, so he stayed until the weekend, when he said goodbye to his parents.

When he returned to Fan Shen’s place, Xiao He didn’t want to waste any more time, so he offered to start the treatment.

Qin Su had recalibrated the equipment during this time, and he’d already finished the preparations. Once Xiao He lay down, he said, “If anything happens, you can find me to discuss it.”

Xiao He nodded. “Okay.”

A burst of dizziness attacked him soon after. He’d already gone through this twice, but Xiao He still couldn’t help feeling hesitant and nervous.

He felt hesitant because he didn’t know what the world would be like this time.

He felt nervous because he was about to see Fan Shen.

They hadn’t really been parted by death, but he kept suffering shocks of that kind, so he longed to see him again even more.

Xiao He took a deep breath and abruptly opened his eyes.

But the scene that entered his eyes caught him off guard.

A great sea of fire rose into the sky, burning everything before his eyes into a field of crimson.

There were the crashing sounds of buildings collapsing, the terrified screams of people fleeing in panic, and scenes of brutal slaughter that it was hard to look directly at. 

The flames were burning down everything, but there were still people brandishing their swords and slaughtering people.

This was a scene of hell on earth. Xiao He only took a glance before he couldn’t help retching again and again.

But just at this moment, a woman picked him up and ran forward at lightning speed.

She was wearing complicated garments, a fine ancient outfit. She was carrying Xiao He, but it didn’t take her the slightest effort. 

Xiao He realized the problem with this. He looked down and saw his little palms, that looked to be those of a seven or eight year old boy’s. 

He’d actually...turned little?

What was going on?!

Just as Xiao He was feeling bewildered, he looked up again, and saw that the woman carrying him had eyes filled with a look of grief and despair.

She finally ran to a safe area, and placed Xiao He carefully into a hole in the ground. After that, she kept kissing him and speaking in a low voice.

“Xiao He, live on, you have to live on. Forget your grievances, forget everything, and don’t pay attention to anything else. You just have to live on and it’ll be okay!”

Her voice was full of too much sorrow and reluctance to part. Xiao He couldn’t figure out why this was happening, but her emotions influenced his, and he felt wave after wave of intense worry.

Xiao He opened his mouth, and the voice that came out was young and soft.

But the woman covered his mouth lightning-fast. “Good boy, don’t make a sound, don’t make a sound no matter what. I’m going to go find your father, so stay here by yourself, okay?”

“Listen to me, good boy, my darling, my baby. Be good and stay here, I’ll be back in a while, I’ll be back very soon.”

Once she finished speaking, she moved a stone in front of the hole to block off the entrance, and ran quickly into the distance.

Xiao He wasn’t really a little kid, after all, so how could he not understand this situation?

He was still a little at a loss, but he knew that his mother was going to die. 

When she left this time, they had parted forever.

Xiao He suddenly thought of Fan Shen, and he couldn’t help but feel bitter at heart.

Xiao He couldn’t move the stone in front of him, so he could only remain here powerlessly. 

Until the noise outside died down, the flames were extinguished, and this stone was moved aside.

Xiao He crawled out. The night had faded, and the sun was shining. 

Xiao He stood up straight. He was just thinking of looking around when he suddenly stopped in place.

Above the chaos and the ruins, a single man stood tall.

With inky hair like the night, he rose lightly into the air. His white robes were like the clouds, and like an immortal, he soared so quickly that he raised not a puff of dust on the ground. He looked back slightly, his eyes deep and serene as the azure sea. He only had to give one indifferent look, and everything around him became remote and insignificant.

Xiao He looked at him blankly. He hadn’t expected that he’d meet him so quickly this time.

But it was good that he could see him.

He stumbled forward a few steps, but the man didn’t wait for him to approach.

He saw the white-robed man raise a hand, and faint stars scattered down, landing on him and covering him.

Xiao He didn’t know what he meant by this, but he soon felt his mind starting to empty.

This was a very strange feeling, but if he had to describe it, it was as if all his memories became insignificant and unnecessary.

Since they were useless, then...it didn’t matter if he lost them.

Xiao He’s black eyes began to empty, and their color faded, until at last, he’d forgotten everything.

***

The author has something to say: 

Cough, cough...I’ve updated, but I definitely have to take a leave of absence tomorrow. Everything’s upside-down right now, getting up at five o’clock in the morning every day to type is too exhausting, wahhh. 

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3 hours and 6 minutes for 2,336 words, or 8 minutes for every 100 words. An increase in rate by 0.6 minutes...

Just like she wished, he forgot everything...

Xiao He's sister's name is Xiao Rong, 萧容 (Xiāo Róng). 容 means tolerance.

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