Entering a Split Personality — Chapter 46

Thank you nicolet for the double support! ☕️🍬🍰

***

Monkey wine had a beautiful flavor, but it was genuinely strong alcohol.

If an ordinary person took a swallow, they might get drunk for more than three days, but cultivators, after all, had good physiques. They wouldn’t go so far as to fall unconscious, but it was quite possible that they’d fall into such a daze they wouldn’t be able to tell what day it was.

Xiao He felt so wonderful he felt like he was flying. The wine had relieved the depression he’d felt for days on end, and he felt like whatever he looked at was pleasing, and everything he saw made him happy. 

When he saw that his ‘Brother Luo Fei’ now looked like his master, he thought that this was a wonderful thing. 

“Brother Luo Fei!” Xiao He blinked and said, “I really never found you so good-looking before.” He was so good-looking he looked exactly like his master, how nice! 

Everyone said in vino veritas, but Yun Qing knew that he shouldn’t listen to the words of a drunkard.

But this time, he couldn’t avoid listening.

The boy leaned against him bonelessly, his dewy eyes staring intently at him. His red lips, smudged by wine, were more tempting than ever, but the words they spoke jabbed at his heart.

Yun Qing said coldly, “I’m not Luo Fei.”

Xiao He didn’t believe him at all. He clung to Yun Qing’s clothes and muttered, “If you’re not Brother Luo Fei, then who could you be, my master?”

 His voice was low, but it drifted into Yun Qing’s ears without him missing a trace of it. He couldn’t help his heart sinking, and he said coldly, “I’m Yun Qing.” 

“How could that be!” Xiao He seemed like he’d heard the biggest joke in the world. He stared at Yun Qing with crinkled eyes. “Brother Luo Fei, don’t joke around, how could I not be able to tell you and Master apart? Master’s aloof, remote and untouchable, but you’re not the same, you’re by my side, you can chat with me, drink with me, and...and…”

He muttered the last few words to himself lowly. His voice was so quiet that Yun Qing couldn’t hear it at all, but he understood the last sentence very well.

“In short...you’re the best, way better than Master!”

Yun Qing’s eyes sank slightly, and he vividly experienced a stabbing pain coming from the pit of his stomach. He looked at the boy with the crimson face in his arms, and he said with a chilly voice, “Didn’t you say that you liked your master the most? He saved you, so you admire him, and you even said that you only want to stand by his side.”

Yun Qing’s words fell into Xiao He’s ears, and instantly stirred up his wounded feelings.

Of course he liked his master, and of course he admired him. He took him to be his hope in living, the support behind his survival, and the most important person in his life.

But...what use was it? 

His master's wife was the one standing by his master’s side.

His master was destined to never belong to him.

His master already belonged to someone else.

As soon as he thought of the man and woman wrapping around each other in Floralscent House, he suddenly felt irritated at heart, and couldn’t help but say angrily, “That’s all in the past. I was just confused for a while, and now I feel it’s unrealistic. Liking him and admiring him are all no use. Master’s too far away from me, and I can’t reach him. Come to speak of it, we’re better together…” Xiao He looked up at this ‘Brother Luo Fei’ who strongly resembled Master, and he felt a strong desire. “Brother Luo Fei, you’re really good-looking.” 

Yun Qing hooked Xiao He by the waist, his dark, heavy eyes looking into the boy's shining ones, wishing he could tear apart this heartless boy and swallow him down into his stomach. 

He was young, so he was fickle.

He liked whoever he wanted to like, and he admired whoever he wanted to like.

Just a moment before he kept saying that he admired him, but now after just a few short days, he could seduce other people like this.

If he hadn’t come in time just now, Luo Fei would’ve kissed him, right?

And him...would he refuse?

Xiao He was simply looking forward to it.

Once he thought of what could’ve happened, Yun Qing’s heart felt like a snake had bitten it, stinging with intense pain. 

He wanted to break it off, but Xiao He had actually already let go of him.

It turned out he was the only one who’d laughably buried this obsession deep in his heart until it seeped into his bones, unable to remove or abandon it, tormenting himself day and night over this. 

But as for him, he picked things up fast and let go of them faster.

So unaffected, and so hateful.

He couldn’t tell whether it was jealousy or resentment welling up in his heart. With the thought of venting his anger, Yun Qing bent his head and kissed him.

Their lips met. Yun Qing’s brows creased slightly from how incredible it felt.

And Xiao He’s eyes suddenly widened, looking at him without even blinking.

M-master! Master kissed him! 

No...it couldn’t be. His master would only kiss his wife, and he couldn’t possibly kiss him.

Was this a dream? No, it wasn’t…

Ah...Xiao He’s confused mind finally found an answer.

It was Brother Luo Fei.

Brother Luo Fei, who looked just like his master.

That’s nice.

Xiao He looked at the man in front of him, called out his master’s name silently in his heart, and licked him experimentally.

Darkness replaced the last brightness in Yun Qing’s eyes, and he parted Xiao He’s lips without the slightest hesitation, sweeping into and entering his mouth, holding the tip of his tongue and beginning a wild invasion.

Xiao He’s head felt a little dizzy, but he didn’t have the slightest intent of resisting him. He tipped back his head to accept the kiss, silently saying his master’s name in his heart. He began to tremble uncontrollably.

Master was licking him, Master was kissing him, Master was holding him, giving him pleasure and taking possession of him.

This thrill that made his scalp tingle made him forget about everything. Xiao He put his arms around him on his own.

His movements made a trace of reason return to Yun Qing’s mind, but just when he let go of him, Xiao He wrapped himself around him again, and even impatiently moved his body a little. 

The last thread of reason in his mind completely snapped, and Yun Qing picked him up, went straight into his room and threw him on the bed, leaning down and pressing himself on top of Xiao He.

Xiao He’s head was in a mess. He felt that his body was limp and numb, and his heart was full of desire. He looked at his master, thought of that scarlet-colored dream, and grew even hotter.

They shared a deep, hot, arousing kiss, and afterwards he began to forget everything.

After the long, taxing kiss that was so passionate it seemed no matter how much he demanded it wouldn’t be enough, there came a yet more tantalizing touch.

Under the influence of the wine, Xiao He couldn’t tell reality and fantasy apart at all anymore. He just knew he had to enjoy himself, feel good and hold on to him tightly. 

This lasted until he felt a sharp pain, and Xiao He’s eyes abruptly widened. “Ow, ow.” 

Yun Qing kissed him and raised his fingers slightly. A wisp of pale light streaked across him, soothing the place where he was hurt. “Don’t be afraid, it’s alright.” 

His voice seemed to carry a magical power with it. Xiao He’s body relaxed again. Once the pain was gone, he felt a burst of an indescribable feeling, and he couldn’t help letting out broken moans…

The night was hazy and the moon hung high in the sky. The room was filled with a charming and gentle scene, so intoxicating they forgot whether it was spring or autumn.

After he reached his climax, Xiao He almost thought he’d die.

He held tightly to the man on top of him, panting softly with closed eyes, his body trembling uncontrollably.

And at this moment, the man on top of him asked with a rough voice, “Xiao He, who am I?”

Xiao He was drunk, wine-drunk, and his heart was intoxicated as well. He was just about to lowly call out “Master” when he suddenly realized...this wasn’t his master.

How could it be Master? It was clearly Brother Luo Fei, who looked a great deal like him.

He was in a daze. Once he thought that this wasn’t his master, he instantly steadied. He called out softly, “Brother Luo Fei.”

His soft, sticky and sweet voice sounded more pleasant than ever after having eaten his fill, but the words that came in this tone were so cruel they were like a sharp blade, able to pierce completely through Yun Qing's heart. 

He was really terribly drunk, so much so that he still couldn’t tell them apart even now.

Yun Qing’s lips held a trace of a bitter smile, but the depths of his eyes were filled with sorrow.

Let it pass, if he couldn’t tell them apart then he couldn’t tell them apart, that was fine. 

He bent his head and kissed him so that he couldn’t make a sound, and then buried himself inside him again. 

In any case, he wasn’t him, he wasn’t the one who belonged to Xiao He.

He might as well just enjoy himself.

After a dissipated night like this, when he woke the next day, Xiao He couldn’t get out of bed at all.

Having a hangover didn’t feel too great. His head hurt so much it felt like it was going to split open.

And once he thought of what had happened last night, Xiao He felt as if he'd fallen into an abyss. 

What-what had he done?!

He could still clearly feel the stabbing pain behind him. He couldn’t deceive himself at all.

He actually...actually…

Xiao He panicked. He sat up in bed with a pale face, not knowing what to do. 

He treated Luo Fei like he were his master. Something like this actually happened. 

He couldn’t tell up from down when he was drunk, but after he sobered up, his remaining memories were so clear it was a little astonishing.

Luo Fei sent him back, Xiao Fei tugged on him, and then...he muddle-headedly saw him as his master, and kissed him?

And after that…

Xiao He simply didn’t dare to think about it anymore. Even just thinking about it, a chill rose in his chest.

He saw Luo Fei as his best friend, but something like this happened with his best friend.

Even if he was drunk, it was too much!

After this, how could they face each other? After this, how could they get along?

What’s more...Xiao He sat paralyzed on the bed, his face colorless.

He couldn’t deceive himself at all anymore.

He really did have filthy ideas like these about his master. He really did desire his own master.

Even though his master already had a wife, even though he only treated him as his disciple. 

Xiao He could actually treat someone else like he was his master after getting drunk, and then do this kind of thing.

He was finished, finished… Only one thought flashed through Xiao He’s mind. He was completely done for.

After staying in a listless daze for three whole days, Xiao He finally pulled himself together.

He had to find Luo Fei for a talk, and explain himself a little. Even if Luo Fei broke it off with him from now on, he had to at least apologize.

With this thought, Xiao He went to Luo Fei’s courtyard, but he didn’t see him.

Rui Xin said with a stem of mint sticking out of his mouth, “Little He, looking for Luo Fei? He’s out on a mission.” He clicked his tongue. “That boy really has good luck. He actually went to Blacktrail Woods. He’s going to make a bundle this time.”

Luo Fei wasn’t here? Xiao He was a little startled.

Rui Xin patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t be in a hurry, he probably won’t be able to come back for half a year. If you’re bored, come find us to play, we’ll take you out to drink monkey wine.” 

As soon as he heard the word “wine,” dread arose in him. Xiao He shook his head continuously like a rattle.

As he returned from Rui Xin’s place, Xiao He let out a little sigh of relief.

Brother Luo Fei had probably gone out because he wanted to avoid him.

That was fine...as time passed, this event would fade in their minds, and afterwards, they could return to the way they were in the past.

After getting a load off his mind, Xiao He’s mood lightened.

He walked toward Bluephoenix Palace. As he was crossing a field of medicinal herbs, he suddenly heard a low voice. “St-stop.” 

This woman's voice was low in tone, but it was mellow, charming and very pleasant.

But Xiao He’s body stiffened in place. He realized who it was.

Hong Shuang, his master’s wife.

Xiao He wasn’t the same as before. Just by hearing a stifled moan, he knew that she was receiving a kiss, and the only one who could kiss her was his master.

He didn’t see it, but Xiao He felt a burst of stabbing pain in his chest. It hurt so much that he broke into a run.

He was afraid of seeing it, really afraid. If he didn’t see it he could still hold on to hope, if he saw it, then…

But actually...he should give up now. 

This was all just his delusion from the beginning.

Xiao He ran too fast, so he didn’t hear what the people behind him were saying.

Hong Shuang threw out a slap with a smack, and said coldly, “Lie Qing, get lost! Go back and find your little vixen, I don’t have time to deal with you.”

The man called Lie Qing didn’t change his expression after getting slapped, and smiled lightly instead. “Don’t say useless things. After finding a powerful man, how could you still care for me?”

***

Xiao He ran all the way back to Bluephoenix Palace. He shut himself in his room for the whole day, too distracted to go outside.

Until nighttime, when Yun Qing came. 

He still looked the same. White robe, inky hair, indifferent as the clouds, light as the wind, matchless and magnificent.

But Xiao He didn’t even dare to take a look at him.

“What’s wrong? You haven’t eaten all day.”

Xiao He didn’t make a sound.

Yun Qing’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he walked over and asked, “You even stopped practicing?”

Xiao He suddenly drew a step back from his approach.

Yun Qing stiffened slightly, but he soon returned to the way he was before. No, he was even more tranquil and detached.

“I have time tomorrow, so we’ll have class as usual," Yun Qing said.

Xiao He had been tormented for the last few days until he couldn’t even fall asleep. As soon as he closed his eyes, what had happened on the night he was drunk would rush into his mind, and he would think of his master and miss him like he was going mad, longing for him even more than he had before.

Because of him, he almost wasn’t human anymore, but as for him, his master was still so steady and calm, so cold and indifferent.

No...he wasn’t cold and indifferent at all. He was only like this to him.

Just like how earlier, he could kiss his wife in the medicinal herb meadow, passionately caress her, and love her…

Once he thought of this, jealousy bit at his heart like a venomous snake, and Xiao He suddenly couldn’t quite take it anymore.

“I don’t want to go to class!”

Yun Qing looked at him. “Why?”

Xiao He didn’t look at him. He only frowned and said coldly, “I want to go out!”

Xiao He couldn’t tell him the reason why, but Yun Qing came up with one for him. “You want to go to Blacktrail Woods?”

Where was Blacktrail Woods? Xiao He felt he had a faint impression of it, but he couldn’t remember it too clearly. But it was fine as long as he had a place to go, it was fine as long as it wasn’t Bluephoenix Peak. So he replied loudly, “That’s right! I want to go to Blacktrail Woods.” 

The atmosphere around them abruptly chilled. Yun Qing’s eyes were as icy as winter frost, terrifying him with a glance. 

“You’ve only parted with him for three days, and you already can’t bear it anymore?”

Xiao He was at a loss, but he was soon forced to look into Yun Qing’s face. Gazing into those eyes that lacked the slightest emotion, Xiao He forgot to react. His heart felt like someone was gripping it tightly.

Yun Qing stared at him. His voice was gloomy and filled with shards of ice. “Xiao He, when all’s said and done, are you fickle or devoted?”

***

The author has something to say:

Still tormenting himself, bwahaha.

***

4 hours and 12 minutes for 2,932 words, or 8.6 minutes for every 100 words. A decrease in rate by 0.8 minutes. These days it's been taking me twice as long to edit too...

Hong Shuang's mysterious lover, Lie Qing, is named 烈情 (Liè Qíng). 烈 means "intense," while 情 means "feelings." Weird name.

Yun Qing is named 云清 (Yún Qīng). 云 means "cloud," while 清 means "clear." A name fitting for the epithet the author gives him, 云淡风轻, "few clouds and a light breeze." It's usually used to describe the weather, but applied to a person, it carries the connotation of indifference. I translated it as, "indifferent as the clouds, light as the wind."

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