At that moment, the thought that surged up from the bottom of his heart was: Master hates me, he hates me a lot.
The instant he got this message, all the blood in his body seemed to freeze, and he couldn’t move at all.
Xiao He didn’t respond, and Yun Qing didn’t want to let him respond either. After he let go of Xiao He, he threw down a few words: “You aren’t allowed to go anywhere.”
Yun Qing left, but Xiao He took a long time to come back to himself.
But he was left even more beside himself.
If before, he was only afraid of his own wishful thinking, then now, he was facing a collapse of his beliefs.
His blind admiration and affection for his master had now given rise to the kinds of feelings that he couldn’t tell anyone. But he had never thought of what he should do if his master hated him.
Yes, whoever had said that just because he liked him, his master had to like him back?
Reality often held complications.
If the one he liked didn’t know it, then those complications would turn into loathing.
Xiao He abruptly trembled, and he shrunk into himself.
He kept saying just now that he wanted to leave, but he had actually only said it in anger. If his master really did drive him out, if he made him disappear forever from his presence, what would he do?
The temperature on Bluephoenix Peak was always like spring throughout the year, but at this moment, Xiao He felt chills attacking him. He was so cold he couldn’t help hugging himself.
Xiao He was completely immersed in his own world, while Yun Qing had already walked far away.
He wouldn’t let Xiao He leave, but he wasn’t willing to stay there and watch Xiao He look dazed for someone else’s sake either.
He walked forward and passed through Bluephoenix Palace, walking into the bamboo forest behind it.
There was a table and chairs there, simple and unadorned. They were covered in dead leaves, but there wasn't the slightest dust upon them.
Yun Qing tucked away his sleeves and sat down. A pot of sake had already filled his cup by itself.
He picked up his cup, drained it in one swallow and said indifferently, “What is it?”
As his words landed, a faint figure flashed by, and a woman in gorgeous red clothes appeared out of thin air.
Hong Shuang cocked an eyebrow and asked, “Can I leave now?”
Yun Qing didn’t make a sound.
Hong Shuang sat down on her own, stared at him and said, “You’ve already eaten that little guy up cleanly, and you still need me to put on an act with you? Isn’t that too much trouble?”
It was fine when nobody brought that matter up, but once she said it, Yun Qing felt unbearably stifled at heart.
But he was used to staying calm, so his face didn’t change. He only picked up his cup and took another swallow of the strong wine.
Hong Shuang had interacted with him for thousands of years, so she couldn’t be any more familiar with his habit of not showing anything on the surface. She couldn’t help but frown and say, “That little thing doesn’t like you?”
Yun Qing’s hand tightened slightly around his cup of wine.
Hong Shuang said, surprised, “How could that be? When I had just arrived, that little fellow was itching to eat you up. If I said he didn’t like you, who would believe me?”
Yun Qing stared at his cup and finally opened his mouth. “But afterwards, didn’t he stop hating you?”
Startled, Hong Shuang was so distracted she didn’t resume the conversation.
Indeed, Xiao He’s attitude toward her had changed a lot these days. He was no longer cold and hostile like he was at first, and he chatted with her instead. He even constantly praised her cooking skills. He had really accepted her completely.
At the time, Hong Shuang had believed that he was only pretending in order to provoke Yun Qing, but now that she thought about it...he hadn’t been pretending at all.
Could it be...Hong Shuang was a little incredulous. “He admired you for so many years, how could he have a change of heart so quickly?”
“You said it was admiration. How could admiration and affection be the same?”
Hong Shuang’s brows wrinkled slightly. Yun Qing continued, “At his age, how could you hope for his feelings to last?”
As someone in his teenage years, he was impulsive and fickle.
His feelings came quickly and left more quickly yet.
At the time, he felt Xiao He had pledged his undying love, but in hindsight, it was as ephemeral as a fleeting cloud, passing away in the blink of an eye.
Hong Shuang’s brows creased, and she asked him in return, “What exactly are you thinking? Aren’t you clinging to an impossible relationship? If he doesn’t love you, then aren’t you free? Why are you suffering over something that will satisfy both sides?”
Yun Qing stiffened slightly.
Hong Shuang stared at him, shaping each word carefully and hitting the nail on the head. “Yun Qing, I’m not scolding you, but you’ve never been moved by anyone for thousands of years. Now that you like someone for once, why hide? Why break it off? This word “love” can be as violent as ravenous wolves and tigers, but if you go along with it, it’s sweet as honey. Since you like him, why not follow your heart? If you say it’ll obstruct the great Dao…” Hong Shuang looked at him, and said without blinking, “With your cultivation base, are you unable to see what the heavenly Dao is like?”
Her words struck him like a hammer, and he suddenly realized the truth.
An outsider saw the situation more clearly than the one within it. Yun Qing’s brows gathered slightly, but his eyes filled with starlight.
Hong Shuang’s voice continued. “Don’t talk anymore about how he doesn’t like you. If you wanted to make him like you, would he be able to refuse?”
Yun Qing suddenly rose. His robe fluttered, stirring the verdant bamboo leaves on the ground. He stared at Hong Shuang and said, “He’s my unattainable love, and I’m unattainable for him as well. If I agree to be with him, he’ll suffer all kinds of troubles all his life…”
Before he could finish speaking, Hong Shuang frowned and interrupted him. “Since you love him, how could you possibly be unable to thoroughly protect him?”
Yun Qing jolted abruptly, and light shone through the depths of his heart.
The things he found difficult couldn’t surpass the sadness he felt over this impossible love, but what if he didn’t see it as impossible?
If worst came to worst, his cultivation would halt, and he would leave aside the heavenly Dao, but he would be able to stay with him forever.
If he didn’t taste the feeling of love, then he wouldn’t know, but now that he’d tasted it, how could he bear to let it go?
If he could exchange a thousand years of the heavenly Dao for the chance to have him and stay with him, he would be perfectly happy to do so.
As for Xiao He’s calamity, he would bear it for him. It didn’t matter even if it increased his sins tenfold, he would definitely protect him and ensure that he lived forever in peace and happiness, free of worries!
***
Xiao He had nightmares all night long. When he woke the next day, he looked like he’d been fished out of water. His clothes were soaked through with cold sweat.
In his dream, all of his thoughts were made public, and everyone knew that he loved his master.
And then his master’s wife interrogated him, and asked him why he had to treat her like this.
She treated him so well, so why did he have to repay good with evil!
Then he saw his master.
He was as magnificent as always, but those pale eyes were full of scorn and disgust.
As for what he heard then...even though he’d woken from his dream, when he thought of those words, he couldn’t help shrinking.
“Xiao He, you really make me sick.”
That’s right, he was disgusting, filthy and depraved. He couldn’t be called human!
He knew that this was a nightmare, but Xiao He well knew that this could become reality. If his thoughts were exposed, all of this would come true.
It couldn’t happen…it absolutely couldn’t!
Xiao He soaked in the spirit spring, striving to calm down.
He had to bury all of this in the depths of his heart, and make it into an eternal secret. No one would know, no one!
He wouldn’t hold out hope anymore, and he wouldn’t long for him. It was fine as long as he could maintain the current situation.
Yes, it would be okay if only everything stayed the same as it was right now.
When he came out of the spirit spring, Xiao He had strengthened his resolve.
But soon, he wavered a little again.
His courses resumed, and Yun Qing never mentioned what happened that day again. As before, he personally taught class and answered questions.
Xiao He felt nervous and uncomfortable, and his thoughts often made him absent-minded, but Yun Qing never rebuked him. He guided him with great care instead, patiently teaching him, much more earnestly than before.
It wasn’t like Xiao He couldn’t sense this, but he was still afraid.
The better his master treated him, the clearer that dream became.
If he didn’t hope, he wouldn’t despair.
If he had nothing to compare it to, he wouldn’t be disappointed.
But this huge of a contrast was enough to bring him to madness.
Anxiety gnawed at Xiao He’s heart, while Yun Qing kept tolerating him and giving him the best with exceptional patience.
They had class in the morning and practice in the afternoon, and at night, Yun Qing prepared Xiao He a sumptuous dinner.
Xiao He was nervous, but he was still young in the end. When he saw his favorite food, he couldn’t help but be tempted.
Violetberries were a divine fruit that grew only once a century. They were juicy and had a thin skin, and the flavor was delicious and enticing. The first time he had tasted one, Xiao He had really liked the flavor, and whenever he saw one he couldn’t help but get a gleam in his eye.
It was just that this fruit had harsh growth conditions and a very low yield. It only produced one fruit a century, so the price was expensive. It was an extremely luxurious divine fruit.
But now, there was a plate brimming with them placed before Xiao He’s eyes. There were so many that anyone knowledgeable about them would feel distressed.
Xiao He knew that these things were scarce, but he really didn’t know how expensive they were. When he saw such a big plate of them at first glance, he just took them to be ordinary fruit.
He wasn’t in a good mood, and eating some delicious fruit would help lift it, so he didn’t think about it too much. He peeled a few and dug in.
These violetberries weren’t small in size, and they held a lot of juice. If he couldn't eat them in one bite, it was hard to avoid spilling some of the juice.
Yun Qing never ate this sort of thing. For the moment, he just sat there and watched Xiao He’s cheeks bulging.
This boy was fair and had delicate features. He had been in low spirits for a while out of lovesickness, but he was in a good mood at the moment, since he could eat the fruit he liked. His big eyes were bright and dewy, and with that expression that was focused on eating, he was so cute he made Yun Qing want to take him into his arms.
Xiao He ate carefully, but he couldn’t help the ample juice that these berries had, so some occasionally trickled out.
Under the pale halo of the night pearl, his red lips seemed all the more captivating stained with lavender juice.
Yu Qing’s heart moved, and he couldn’t resist lifting up slightly, reaching out and touching Xiao He’s chin.
He really wanted to kiss him, but he saw sudden fear in Xiao He’s eyes, so he immediately woke up. He couldn’t rush, it would scare him.
Yun Qing smiled slightly, moved a little farther away and wiped the juice from Xiao He’s lips with his fingers. “Be more careful, you’ll get it on your clothes.”
Xiao He abruptly came back to himself. He rubbed his mouth carelessly and said in a low voice, “Thank you, Master.”
This little episode passed in a flash, as if it had never happened.
But Xiao He couldn’t sleep all night long.
He felt he was about to go mad. As soon as he closed his eyes, he saw the scene of his master lowering his head and kissing him, and once he opened his eyes again, he saw his cold eyes full of loathing and contempt...
With heaven and hell taking each other’s place one after the other, Xiao He grew deeply afraid of the night.
Because he couldn’t sleep, he simply couldn’t sleep at all.
However...this was only the beginning.
Xiao He felt like he was living in a dream all day long.
He always felt like his master had a passionate gaze on him, and that he touched him indistinctly. He even imagined that his master wanted to kiss him.
But...how could that be!
For seven days in a row, Xiao He only slept for four to six hours. He really couldn’t bear it anymore.
It happened that Yun Qing didn’t come looking for him today, so Xiao He wanted to go out for a walk.
Luo Fei was out on a mission, but senior disciple Rui Xin was still on the mountain.
Xiao He had wanted to find Rui Xin, but the little boy who cleaned told him, “Senior disciple Rui Xin went out to have fun, and he probably won’t be back until night.”
Xiao He felt a little disappointed.
He was about to walk back to Bluephoenix Palace, but he suddenly thought of something.
Since his master wasn’t here, he might as well go out to have fun by himself.
He wouldn’t dare to touch the monkey wine at Floralscent House even if you beat him to death, but the demon world was still pretty interesting, and going there to pass the time wasn’t a bad idea.
After thinking it through, Xiao He packed a few things and went down the mountain by himself.
There was no one guiding him, but the land was covered under a contract, so Xiao He wasn’t too worried. He prepared a few defensive magic weapons and crossed the border.
The demon world was as lively as always. Xiao He strolled around for a while and saw a store that had a bustling shopfront, so he went in.
Once he went in, it was rather eye-opening.
The lobby buzzed with activity. There were quite a few cultivators whose divine clothes drifted through the air, and there were demons dressed in revealing clothes as well. They interacted casually and at a whim. Some even had cute cat ears and tails sticking out of their clothes.
Xiao He was dazzled when he looked around, and he felt that this vast world was really full of extraordinary things.
He was rather conspicuous sitting there all alone. A waiter came over and greeted him. “Do you want anything?”
Xiao He picked up the menu for a look, and instantly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. These dishes all had such exotic names that he couldn’t understand what they were at all.
The shop’s waiter was very helpful and explained them to him one by one. Xiao He finally understood that these were all types of wine!
Xiao He had grown truly afraid of wine, so he was determined not to drink.
The waiter didn’t make things difficult for him, and only said, “It’s fine if you’re not much of a drinker. We have a leopard cat fruit wine here that has a sweet and fragrant flavor. It isn’t intoxicating at all, and it even helps you sleep.”
The last sentence moved Xiao He. He thought about it and said, “I’ll have a bottle.”
The waiter said with a smile, “No problem!”
After he sent off the waiter, Xiao He sat there alone, looking around curiously. Just at that moment, a low, sensual voice came from behind him.
“Hey little guy, you all alone?”
Xiao He turned around, and when he saw who it was, he was taken aback.
Long, narrow eyes and refined features. Magnificent and matchless, he seemed to make everything around him fade into night.
—Master.
Why was his master here?
Xiao He’s eyes were full of shock. The man who had come suddenly leaned over, bent his head and pressed his lips against his mouth.
“I feel like you were waiting for me, right?”
A flirtatious tone, ambiguous words, and the willful corners of his eyes…
Xiao He blinked, and stared fixedly at that long red hair of his, intense as fire.
This wasn’t his master…
But they looked too much alike!
***
The author has something to say:
Yeah...we’re continuing with a full plate of melodrama.
Um, everyone got a little heated last chapter, but this really isn’t a big deal. You just have to earnestly remember that this is a melodramatic, Mary Sue, trashy novel and you’ll be able to read on calmly. (Hey hey hey, how could anyone relax with you talking like that!)
***
5 hours and 37 minutes for 3,004 words, or 11.2 minutes for every 100 words. An increase in rate by 2.6 minutes. Geez...right back to taking an hour a page.
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Thank you for your hardwork!
ReplyDeleteIs it another mysterious character created by our male lead? Thanks for the chapter!! <3<3<3
ReplyDeleteI don't know why... But as soon as Xiao He is the one being emotionally tormented... I feel balanced and not as anxious as the previous arcs.
ReplyDeleteAhhhhhh.... pls make the drama stopppp
ReplyDeleteWow, last arc is the young YF tormented himself loving his daddy, now is XH turn . Lol ohh another doppelgänger. Thank you
ReplyDelete