***
Xiao He did his best to control himself and not respond, but he felt the emotions Fan Shen had suppressed in the depths of his heart, felt his longing for him, and this made it hard for Xiao He to resist.
This was the man who loved him deeply and had embraced him so many times, after all. A single kiss allowed Xiao He to instantly see his feelings.
Actually...what was the need?
What was the need for Fan Shen to torment himself like this?
Once he thought that Fan Shen didn’t want to wake up and see him, Xiao He felt tangled and complicated at heart.
When all was said and done, Fan Shen must still not love him enough. Or else why would he be unwilling to see him?
After all, he wanted Fan Shen to wake up, wanted it until his whole heart seized with pain!
His thoughts moving swiftly, Xiao He felt a little angry, distressed and helpless.
In the end, he might as well not think of it either. No matter what, he’d take his time and stay with Fan Shen, stay with him until he was willing to wake up.
He’d still drunk some wine. Wine hadn't made him drunk, but he made himself drunk.
Fan Shen had never thought that he’d kiss Xiao He, but when he really kissed him, that beautiful feeling made his heart tense and ache with bitterness.
He should stop. Nothing could happen between them.
But once he thought that he would never be able to be near him again, that stabbing pain that could be called despair was enough to make him lose his reason.
It was just a little while, a little while. It wouldn’t cause or change anything.
Fan Shen comforted himself like this.
But when Xiao He’s passion rose and he actively responded to him, madness took over all of Fan Shen’s reason.
He loved Xiao He, really loved him. Even if he shouldn’t love him, he’d long since fallen in love.
The first time he saw him, during so many years of staying by his side and in countless trials going through fire and water.
He’d stood by Xiao He’s side from beginning to end, and his gaze had always been locked on him. They could entrust their lives to each other and have faith in each other, but fighting side by side...had now suddenly come to an end.
No matter what, there was nothing he could do.
They were fated to never be together.
But he was unreconciled.
Even if it was his own beloved little brother who obtained Xiao He, he couldn’t feel at ease!
Following this bone-deep despair, his reason increasingly burned to ashes.
Xiao He gradually entered the most pleasurable stage, and in the end, he couldn’t quite control himself.
He'd long since gotten used to it and forgotten the pain. Greedy enjoyment of pleasure dominated Xiao He’s mind, and he leaned down, his voice holding unstoppable desire. “Fan...Fan…” A brief but unrestrained stifled moan followed his low, rough, soft call.
Once they crossed the line, they couldn’t stop the car anymore.
Xiao He had originally intended to seduce Fan Shen, but he soon tasted the consequences.
This world was really a trap, a true trap, too much of a trap!
Alphas’ bodies were strong, but at the same time they were very sensitive.
Not only were their five senses endlessly magnified, even their sense of pain was extraordinary.
To be honest, it hadn’t even hurt this much his first time. This time, it hurt so much he was about to faint.
What was more terrible was yet to come. Alphas had powerful desires. Before, Fan Shen could make it so that Xiao He couldn’t get out of bed, and this world’s Fan Shen made it so that Xiao He almost wanted to die.
In the end, Xiao He regretted this so-called seduction so much he was kicking himself.
But Xiao He didn’t dare to show it.
He was afraid that if he said it hurt, it would affect Fan Shen’s mood, and he’d fall short of success by a single step. That would really be suffering a double loss, which would be completely terrible!
Xiao He forced himself to bear it, and at the last moment, when it was about to end, his worldview was once again refreshed.
Was...was this the so-called knot? That so-called...so-called…
A burning, scalding heat that seemed like it could ignite him surged violently into him. Pain flooded Xiao He, but suddenly, just when the pain reached its peak, a hidden, unimaginable place burst with pleasure as magnificent and ostentatious as fireworks at night.
What...was happening?
Before Xiao He could further reflect on it, another thrust utterly defeated him.
It didn’t hurt at all anymore. Miraculously and unbelievably, it seemed that he had been in the abyss of pain a moment before, and was propelled high into the clouds of pleasure in the next.
Such a great contrast only made the pleasure more pronounced, the enjoyment wilder and his mind completely dazed.
Xiao He didn’t know how many times they did it and for how long.
He just knew that he couldn’t stop, he couldn’t stop at all.
He’d liked to wrap around Fan Shen before, but he was even more into it this time. It was as if he’d been hungry and thirsty all winter, so full of desire his thoughts couldn’t even control his body anymore.
As even Xiao He had let loose like this, Fan Shen, who had suppressed himself and endured silently for so long, lost himself to an unimaginable degree.
He hadn't been able to touch him, interact with him or dare to think of having such pleasure with him.
Fan Shen wished this was a dream, a dream he would never wake up from.
They didn’t sleep all night, and the next day, Xiao He couldn’t get out of bed at all.
The curtains were firmly drawn and the door was tightly closed. The two exhausted men lay in each other’s arms, sleeping deeply, soundly and snugly.
This was a sealed-off, pitch-black space, where they couldn’t even see each other’s features, but it made them feel at ease.
There was no one to disturb them, and this was their world.
However...they couldn’t escape from reality.
“Bang, bang, bang.” A boy’s soft, low call followed the sound of knocking on the door. “Brother Xiao He, are you up?”
His voice was soft, and it didn’t wake the two deeply-asleep men.
But Fan Qing didn’t leave, and instead pressed against the door and continued calling softly, “Brother Xiao He, wake up. If you don’t wake up I’m going to come in!”
They knew the door was firmly locked and he couldn’t come in, but the two men embracing still swiftly opened their eyes.
Xiao He was a little panicked, but he wasn’t panicking about their affair being exposed, but worrying that Fan Shen wouldn’t be able to accept it after Fan Qing found out.
But Fan Shen looked down, and only saw the panic and alarm in Xiao He’s eyes.
In an instant, all his happiness was like a bubble, popping and losing its shape.
Once he woke from his dream, cruel reality hit him in the face, and endless regret lingered in the depths of his heart. A despair that was difficult to accept followed the intense disappointment.
And just at this moment, Xiao He spoke. “Little Qing, I’m up. I’m taking a shower right now, I’ll come find you in a bit.”
Fan Qing was still young, after all, and he was about to marry him. Once he heard that Xiao He was taking a bath, he felt a little embarrassed. He whispered a few words and hurriedly left.
Xiao He let out a breath and was just about to look back around.
But Fan Shen suddenly rose and got out of bed.
He didn’t have a stitch on. The dark room couldn’t conceal his valiant aura and attractive physique.
Xiao He couldn’t help but look at him dazedly, his throat bobbing, feeling a little aroused.
But Fan Shen didn’t give him a glance. He picked up his clothes and threw them on, saying softly as he buttoned himself up, “I was the one in the wrong last night. I’m sorry, but don’t worry, I’ll leave tomorrow and never return. So there’s no need to fear, I won’t disturb Fan Qing’s and your life.”
***
The author has something to say:
I might be burning out. I don’t know why, but I can’t get into doing anything. I’m at a loss, sigh… Once the two books on hand are finished, I might need to take a break, muah!
***
banoffee: 2 hours and 2 minutes for 1,476 words, or 8.3 minutes for every 100 words. An increase in rate by 1.9 minutes...π₯²
If you like this translation, please consider encouraging me on Ko-fi! Extra chapter for every ko-fi π
Whaaa, burst update! ( ✧Π✧)♡♡♡♡♡
ReplyDeleteHope you had a nice trip~
Fan Shen, my friend, must we torment ourselves in this manner? πΆπΆπΆ
ReplyDelete