Entering a Split Personality — Chapter 52

—In my life, you’re the only one who’s moved my heart, and in this life, you’re the only one I want.

 These were definitely words of love that Xiao He couldn’t even dream of. But it was because he couldn’t dream of them that he had a strong feeling of unreality.

“But…” Xiao He’s voice was faintly trembling, “you’re the one who told me she was your wife.” 

You’re the one who said she was, and you’re also the one saying she isn't. 

Which one should I believe in the end?

Xiao He was at a loss, alarmed and afraid.

If this was really a dream, once he woke up, how was he supposed to face reality? How could he accept reality?

If he couldn’t accept it, could he really go on living?

A great feeling of dread lingered in his heart, and Xiao He began to tremble faintly.

Yun Qing felt a warm liquid falling on his arm. Slightly startled, he made the boy turn around, and saw the tears that kept tumbling from his eyes. 

All of a sudden, Yun Qing's heart hurt like someone was gripping it tight, so painful it was almost suffocating.

Yun Qing looked at him, unconcealable worry and distress in his pale eyes. “Don’t cry, Xiao He, don’t cry.”

Xiao He didn’t make a sound. He looked at him vacantly, but didn’t reply. 

“I’m sorry…” Once he realized what Xiao He was thinking, Yun Qing felt regret for the first time. For the first time since he was born, he felt a deep remorse.

He shouldn’t be like this, he shouldn’t have treated him this way. He wanted to cradle him in his palms and give him eternal happiness, but he’d given him despair and panic instead. 

“Xiao He, listen to me.” Yun Qing kissed his tears away, his rough voice full of deep affection and burning love that no longer needed to be hidden. “You and I have a fated calamity. If we fall in love with each other, we’ll have to go through the calamity of nine hundred and ninety-nine strikes of lightning. You can’t bear that. At first, I wanted to stop your thoughts in their tracks, so I asked Hong Shuang to help me.” 

Xiao He had never known this, but at the moment he heard him speak, he instantly collected himself, afraid of missing a word.

Yun Qing continued to explain: “But I couldn’t break it off. I accepted you as a disciple, but I never thought of you as my disciple for a single day. I like you. When I saw you, I wanted to take you into my arms, kiss you, take you, and make you see only me.” 

He said these words with a light tone, but they made Xiao He’s heart beat extremely fast, so fast he wanted to cover it up.

But Yun Qing still hadn’t finished speaking. “Xiao He, I love you, and I didn’t want to break it off with you from then on, so I searched for a way to break through the calamity. Fortunately, I found an opportunity, and after preparing for a long time, I finally broke through this heavenly calamity. From now on, you and I will no longer be bound by that.” 

Xiao He listened quietly to the end. There was finally some shine in his eyes. He looked at Yun Qing and asked cautiously, “Really?”

“Yes.” Yun Qing’s eyes showed a complete reflection of him. “I wouldn’t lie to you.” 

As his words fell, he bent his head and covered Xiao He's light, glossy lips.

A limp, numb, trembling feeling spread quickly throughout Xiao He’s body. He stared at Yun Qing blankly, still unable to react.

But soon, he didn’t need to reflect on much anymore.

If this was fake, his master definitely wouldn’t do this with him.

If this was real, then his master would want to be like this with him.

He loved him, loved him so much he didn’t know what kind of mood he should use to express his feelings at this moment.

Full of desire and passion, when the two lovers gave each other pleasure, it was wonderful enough to make him feel like he was in heaven. He forgot all of his worries and pain, and all he knew was this boundless pleasure.

Xiao He didn’t know how long it went on, or how many times they did it, but no matter how weary or sleepy he was, he didn’t want to stop, he didn’t want to stop at all.

And Yun Qing couldn’t bear to let him go, even for a second.

“Xiao He, you’re so beautiful.”

Xiao He held tightly onto his arms, the intense pleasure making him a little dazed. He panted eagerly, his eyes closed, calling out in a low, soft, rough voice, “Master...Master…”

“Do you like it?”

“I like it.”

“Do you love it?”

“...I love it.” 

This one word made the stimulation double again. Xiao He couldn’t speak at all anymore, and could only passively take it, like a piece of driftwood in the ocean, rising and falling, wandering to and fro. He tasted an uninhibited feeling beyond his imagination, and he no longer felt empty and afraid.

Because he was by his side.

It wasn’t until the night grew hazy and Xiao He fell asleep that Yun Qing finally let him go. 

But he couldn’t sleep. Beneath the pale moonlight, he looked at the boy unblinkingly. He was tormented by the feeling that no matter how much he looked at him it was never enough, no matter how much he had him it was never enough, but he had to consider Xiao He’s body. He couldn’t torment him like this; he had to let him have a good rest. 

Xiao He slept all night, perfectly content, while Yun Qing watched him like this all night.

The next day, when Xiao He woke up, he felt the empty space behind him, and his heart inexplicably tightened. He didn’t feel sleepy at all anymore.

He turned over and got up, his eyes full of panic and fear. He was worried that last night really had been a dream, and today…

Just when he was looking around helplessly, Yun Qing walked out of the bathroom.

His long hair was unbound, scattering casually down his back. He wore only a loose robe draped over him, the belt untied and the collar gaping open, exposing a large stretch of chest to the air. He brought the word “sensuality” to its peak.

“Awake?” He looked at Xiao He.

Xiao He was startled for a moment, then got out of bed lightning fast, ran up to him and hugged him tightly.

Yun Qing was a little surprised, but he soon relaxed. There was warmth and tenderness in his eyes as he dropped a kiss on his forehead and asked softly, “Had a bad dream?”

“I didn’t.” Xiao He shook his head.

Yun Qing lifted a hand and was just about to touch his soft hair when Xiao He suddenly looked up, his big eyes bright and unreasonably beautiful. His lips moved slightly, and a soft voice slipped from his throat. “I want it.” 

They were three simple words, but they made Yun Qing’s eyes suddenly darken. “Here?”

“Yes, right now.” As Xiao He spoke these words, he pressed forward again.

And Yun Qing clasped him by the waist, picked him up and drove right in hard, without even moving a step.

Even after going through it all night, this kind of position still hurt a lot, but Xiao He didn’t mind. It hurt, but it felt real.

It was impossible to feel so much pain in a dream. Xiao He’s brows locked, but he felt steady at heart.

But this pain soon left him. Afterwards, Xiao He could only wrap his arms tightly around Yun Qing’s neck, kissing him recklessly.

They went to the bathroom and Yun Qing washed him clean. He held the dazed Xiao He and said softly, “Don’t be afraid, I’m here, and I won’t go anywhere.” 

His thoughts seen through, Xiao He felt a little embarrassed, but at the same time he also felt warmth in his heart, so warm it made him feel languorous all over.

He looked around at the man behind him and couldn’t resist saying, “Master, I like you.”

Yun Qing smiled and touched his lips lightly. “Don’t tempt me, you should have a good rest. Your body won’t be able to take it like this.”

Xiao He thought of the things that had happened just now and couldn’t help blushing. He looked down and splashed the water, but he suddenly felt a burning hot object behind him. 

When he realized what it was, Xiao He looked back at Yun Qing.

Yun Qing was still calm and gentle. “It’s fine, ignore it.” 

Xiao He cleared his throat and said quietly, “If you want to, just…”

“I said that I'd let you rest.” Yun Qing was firm.

“But…” Xiao He couldn’t quite say it. They were both men, so he knew that it was hard to bear the feeling of restraining himself like this. 

Yun Qing brushed away the hair on his forehead and said lowly, “If you yield to it now, it’ll still be like this a while later. Ignore it. It’s alright, just listen to me.”

His words made an enormous difference from the state of his body. Xiao He looked up at him, and inexplicably felt it was a little laughable.

So he crinkled his eyes and said softly, “How about we talk a little? Maybe it’ll get better if you give your attention to something else.” 

Yun Qing listened to him on everything. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?”

Xiao He had really held a bellyful of words in. He hesitated for a moment, then said, “Master, is Mistress Hong Shuang really just your junior apprentice…”

He’d already gotten a definite answer, but Xiao He still felt a little nervous, worried and unable to let go. 

Yun Qing’s heart softened, and he couldn’t resist giving him a kiss on the neck. He said softly, “If you don’t believe me, I can take you to see her later, and have her tell you herself.”

Once Xiao He heard this, he hurriedly said, “D-don’t, I believe you.” If he really went to find Mistress Hong Shuang and had her tell him herself, wouldn’t he be embarrassed to death?

Yun Qing laughed at him. “Do you really believe me?”

“Yes, yes!” Xiao He nodded hard. He really didn’t doubt him anymore this time.

Yun Qing looked at him and suddenly said, “Then I’ll ask you a question as well.”

Xiao He felt warm at heart. He looked up at him. “What?”

Yun Qing looked down at him, his voice unhurried. “What’s going on with you and Luo Fei?”

When he heard Luo Fei’s name, Xiao He’s heart suddenly chilled. He looked away from Yun Qing, and his complexion changed a little as well.

How could his expression escape the man’s notice? Yun Qing's eyes darkened, but his tone didn’t change. He asked softly, “Did you like him? Or...do you still like him now?”

Xiao He’s heart jumped, and he hurriedly said, “No, I don’t like him, I never did.”

Anxious, he got up into a half-kneel, looking at Yun Qing with eyes full of worry.

He wasn’t lying. Yun Qing looked at him and understood this, but he still wanted to ask him to explain.

“I asked you that morning, and you said he was the one you were thinking of, and you said that you liked him.” 

Startled, Xiao He only remembered this a while later.

That day, he’d gotten close to Yun Qing and was in a panic. Afraid that his master would discover his thoughts, he made up something on the spot.

What had he said…

That’s right, he said he was imagining Luo Fei, and he said he liked Luo Fei.

But actually...that wasn’t true at all.

He took a deep breath. Xiao He felt very embarrassed, but he knew that he had to explain this clearly.

“Actually, the one I was thinking of that day was you. But I thought that you had a wife, and that we could never be. I was afraid that you’d see through my thoughts, and that you’d hate me, so I pushed the responsibility onto someone else.”

Startled, Yun Qing asked slowly, “Really?”

Xiao He felt terribly embarrassed, but he was afraid he wouldn’t believe him, so he could only continue speaking. “Yes, really.”

“You were imagining me?”

“...Yes.”

“You wanted me to do that to you?”

His questions made Xiao He’s face turn crimson, but he still earnestly nodded.

Yun Qing paused for a moment, then said, “I feel like you’d better take care of it after all.” 

Startled, Xiao He didn’t react until Yun Qing pulled him in by the waist, picked him up and made him sit down again, and the bone-tingling feeling leapt to the top of his head.

“Ah...Master…”

“Be good, it's just once.” Yun Qing kissed him thoroughly.

But afterwards, Xiao He understood what he meant by saying, “If you yield to it now, it’ll still be like this a while later.”

***

The author has something to say:

Continuing to send out sugar, isn’t it sweet-sweet-sweet～

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2 hours and 42 minutes for 2,276 words, or 7.1 minutes for every 100 words. A decrease by 0.5 minutes. We're almost about to break the seven-minute barrier! I finished this chapter in record time, in just one afternoon. 😊

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