Entering a Split Personality — Chapter 77

Thank you to Socia and Mo for the support 😊Also thanks to Mo for reminding me that today was Saturday, because otherwise I would've completely forgotten, lol 

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Fan Shen had misunderstood him. Of course, it would be hard to avoid a misunderstanding. 

When Fan Shen came back from the Bureau of Government Affairs and saw the house empty, his heart had pounded.

Xiao He had been so well-behaved for the last few months that he’d almost let down his guard.

Xiao He was the man he’d loved deeply for more than a decade, after all, the man who he’d never forgotten from beginning to end. Fan Shen hated him, hated him to the bone, but when he really looked at him, caressed him and felt his beating heart, his own heart uncontrollably softened.

Pathetic? Fan Shen felt that he was very pathetic. 

But when Xiao He told him that he was willing to give up everything and abandon the position of marshal for him, it was really hard for Fan Shen to not be moved.

He told himself that this man was used to beguiling people’s hearts, that he was good at disguising himself and wouldn’t hesitate to achieve a goal by hook or by crook.

But...there was still a voice in the depths of his heart that couldn’t help but defend him.

What could Xiao He still be plotting when he’d given up his family, his power and even this empire?

Couldn’t he try again to have a Xiao He as simple as this? 

After all...Xiao He had nothing left.

Even if it was a Xiao He who had broken his own wings and could no longer soar, imprisoned by him all his life, Fan Shen still really wanted to obtain him, hold him in his arms and stay with him to the end of his life.

He would no longer give him such a passionate love, but he still wanted to have him.

Xiao He…

On that night ten years ago, those two words had become the thorn at the bottom of his heart, and the obsession in his bones that couldn’t be erased.

Unforgettable all his life, carved deep in his bones.

Since it was like this, why not take it in his hands.

So Fan Shen accepted Xiao He, and enjoyed the happy times they had together.

It was just that…

Even this wish he had desperately pleaded for was hard to realize.

Xiao He thought that after abandoning everything, Xiao He could no longer have any designs. 

But actually, he was wrong, he was gravely mistaken.

In Xiao He’s heart, in his bones, family and power probably didn’t matter.

Only that man, that despicable man who had stolen everything from him, had a presence in the depths of his heart. 

It wasn’t until this moment in this gloomy prison, when he saw that the new emperor had disappeared without a trace, that Fan Shen completely figured it out.

For Fan Chen’s sake, Xiao He could use his own body to bewitch and lull him, and then launch a coup d’état and help Fan Chen usurp the position of heir.

For Fan Chen’s sake, Xiao He could ascend to the position of marshal and govern the realm, becoming the proudest existence in the Galactic Empire.

And for Fan Chen’s sake, after suffering defeat, he could sell his dignity, give up everything and please Fan Shen beneath his body, just for the sake of this golden opportunity to save Fan Chen’s life right now. 

How infatuated!

Fan Shen felt as if his chest was filled with molten lead, weighing him down so heavily he couldn’t breathe.

This man who he thought didn’t have a heart had actually only given his heart completely to someone else.

The more he thought about it the more furious he grew, and the more he understood the more he was in despair.

“Xiao He!” Fan Shen’s voice was full of fuming hatred. “How can you be so shameless!”

His voice was so dark that Xiao He’s heart couldn’t help but tremble.

He was a little afraid, but now wasn’t the time for fear. He had to guide his hostile lover!

Xiao He took a deep breath and said quietly, “Fan Shen…”

He didn’t have time to say anything before a sharp voice interrupted him. 

“Brother Shen! You can’t trust him again. In order to save Fan Chen, he threatened me with a weapon and even knocked me unconscious. Brother Shen, before falling unconscious, I saw it all, I saw him kissing that man!”

Xiao He was speechless at seeing Li Liuyun wake up at just the right moment like this.

Seeing him pour oil on the fire, Xiao He really wanted to give him another injection.

You’re talking nonsense, Liuyun little brother! I really did do that with Fan Chen, but at the time, you were already out cold! Pretending you saw something at a time like this...exactly how much do you hate me?!

Fine, you’re right to hate me, I’m a pretty big scumbag this time.

But there’s nothing I can do, my lover doesn’t take the ordinary path, so I can only be such a scumbag!

He was spitting out complaints inside, but Xiao He’s mind was still working lightning-fast.

He had to hurry up and show his loyalty, making it clear that he hadn’t released Fan Chen, but killed him!

“I didn’t…” But it was a pity that Xiao He had gotten his timing wrong. Before he could finish saying a single sentence, Xiao He couldn’t help but topple forward with a sudden hard pull, falling into the man’s hard arms.

Fan Shen squeezed Xiao He’s mouth, a dark haze in his eyes.

Xiao He couldn’t make a sound, only able to speak anxiously with his eyes...

But at the next moment, something even more terrible happened.

Fan Shen reached out, used force and tore away his clothes with a ripping sound.

Xiao He’s heart jumped and his face paled. It was over...over...this had all gone to hell!

A certain NPC was just watching the show and wasn’t afraid of trouble. Li Liuyun shrieked, “Look! Look! I didn’t lie! He’s got so many hickeys on him, they’re all from that man kissing him. They...they...even in this prison cell, that cheating couple actually…”

Li Liuyun was pretty annoying, but he was still a young man who hadn’t even touched a girl’s hand in the end. Having suddenly guessed such a shocking piece of information, he couldn’t quite speak on.

But Fan Shen’s voice was filled with immense anger. “Get out!”

His voice was incredibly low, enough to make him panic as soon as it fell into his ears. 

Li Liuyun couldn’t react.

Fan Shen drove them off in a low voice. “All of you get out!”

This time, without Li Liuyun needing to react, the soldiers behind him took action, hurriedly withdrawing and taking him with them.

Xiao He was really dying of anxiety now, and inside he knew he was done for, done for, absolutely done for. But his mouth was squeezed shut, and he couldn’t say a word of explanation.

Without being able to speak, how was he supposed to whitewash himself! 

However...something more terrible was still to come. Once there was no one else in the cell, Fan Shen ruthlessly tore all of Xiao He’s clothes right off him. Great...now he was completely naked.

Fan Chen had endured for more than ten years. He was reluctant to cause Xiao He pain, but he still couldn’t control himself. His actions couldn’t be called light.

And Xiao He’s skin was delicate. In the past, whenever Fan Shen used a bit of force, he’d leave the marks of fingers behind. So at this moment, Xiao He’s body really looked just wonderful.

Red spots from kisses, dark marks on his waist from being tightly grasped…

Bit by bit, they added up to show just how intense a round of passion the two men had experienced.

A scorching, jealous fury ran through him, and Fan Shen’s eyes almost took on a red tint. 

“Good, very good.” Fan Shen spoke, and his voice was harsh and terrifyingly dark. “Xiao He, you’re just great.”

With a sudden shove, he forced Xiao He to turn over. Fan Shen’s movements were hard, without a trace of tenderness to speak of. He looked right behind him, saw that red and swollen place, and his heart was set aflame.

“What a slut! Xiao He, you couldn’t even bear to leave this cell? You wanted to be fucked that badly?”

As his words landed, he shoved himself inside with a strong desire for vengeance.

He did him until Xiao He’s head tingled.

Did it hurt? It didn’t actually really hurt. After all, he’d just done it, and he hadn’t even cleaned himself down there. Driving in so hard was very rough, but he’d already been opened up as much as he wanted, so it wasn’t like he couldn’t adjust…

Under the impact, Xiao He gave a stifled moan.

His voice was like a light, downy feather, soft enough to make his heart tremble.

If it were the past, Fan Shen would’ve loved that sound, but when he heard it now, it only helped stoke his blazing fury.

As soon as he thought that Xiao He had made those sounds under someone else’s body, that someone else had seen him looking like this, that someone else had enjoyed him to his heart’s content…

Fan Shen’s heart was completely devoured by the viper called jealousy!

Not wanting to hear his voice, Fan Shen took out something and stuffed it into Xiao He’s mouth, so that he could no longer make any sounds.

Fan Shen was on the verge of madness. 

For ten years, day and night, he had lived in suffering and torment.

And Xiao He...he’d been embracing another man, twining around him every night!

For ten years, he’d lived in such grief and despair that he couldn’t be called alive.

And him...he’d been rolling around in bed, moaning softly under another man!

Ten years ago, he’d only had Xiao He for less than a year, while Fan Chen had been with him for an entire decade.

A decade. He’d only had him for a year, but he’d never forgotten him all his life.

But someone else had held him for an entire decade.

How many times had they done it? How many times had he kissed him? How had they confided in and caressed each other? 

These questions had only to flash faintly through his mind, and Fan Shen would feel a despair like the world was turning dark.

When he came back and embraced Xiao He again, Fan Shen was happy with the chemistry between them, and secretly satisfied with Xiao He’s compatibility with him.

But now, once he thought back to it again…

Fan Shen just felt completely humiliated.

Would a body that had been doted on for ten years be bad at taking it?

His and Fan Chen’s features were completely alike. When Xiao He was enjoying it, who was he thinking of?

He thought he’d given him some pleasure, but actually...he was just a substitute?

“Xiao He...Xiao He…” Fan Shen was almost consumed by the darkness within him. “Why did you have to treat me like this, why did you have to treat me like this…”

Xiao He made muffled sounds, but unfortunately, he couldn’t get out a single word.

He wasn’t afraid of pain, he was just worried that Fan Shen would back himself into a corner and stubbornly frustrate himself.

But his wrists were bound and his mouth was gagged. No matter what, he couldn’t say a word.

Xiao He was terribly anxious, and he felt like he’d have to die at least once in order to take care of this world.

But he really didn’t want to die if he could help it.

That feeling was realistically painful, and it was really hard to take!

But he couldn’t find any way out of the situation before him.

At first, Xiao He had imagined it quite simply. He’d appease Fan Chen first and then handle Fan Shen.

At the time, Xiao He had felt that Fan Chen was more troublesome, since after all, their relationship had a shallow foundation. But he hadn’t expected that because Fan Chen had loved him silently for too many years, he was easy to satisfy and easily trusted him, so he’d cured the man smoothly.

Right after that, Xiao He had wanted to tell Fan Shen the truth and make his feelings clear, but who knew that he’d coincidentally come over on his own, and even more coincidentally see the marks on his body.

And then...everything went off track.

Under circumstances like this, Xiao He wouldn’t be able to explain this away even if he had a hundred mouths, and he wouldn’t be able to clear his name even if he jumped into the Yellow River. 

And what’s more, he couldn’t even fucking talk!

He was completely lost, but fortunately, this wasn’t a dead end.

After Xiao He passed out a few times, his mouth was finally freed.

They seemed to have changed location, as Xiao He felt warm water around him. He was so tired he didn’t even want to move his eyelids.

But he couldn’t sleep. He had to seize the opportunity when he could speak to hurry...hurry up and focus. 

His consciousness slowly gathered, and he soon felt the tight embrace around him.

Perfect...Fan Shen was here. Xiao He rejoiced at heart.

He was just about to speak when he heard the low, rough voice of the man behind him.

“Xiao He...don’t move, I’ll wash you.”

Startled, Xiao He felt that something wasn’t quite right. 

He soon felt the intense, stabbing pain coming from his skin. Xiao He frowned, and heard Fan Shen’s low, almost neurotic voice. “Once you’re clean, you won’t smell like someone else anymore. Once you’re clean, you’ll be mine. Don’t be afraid, Xiao He...I know you don’t like him. I’ll help you wash, and this way you won’t be able to remember him…”

His voice was tranquil, but it was so empty it was as if he’d lost his spirit.

Xiao He’s heart tightened. He hurriedly opened his eyes and looked behind him, and a sharp thorn pricked his heart fiercely.

The man behind him had long hair like a waterfall and skin whiter than snow. His azure eyes were once as vast and beautiful as the ocean, but now they were empty and shallow, like an unfocused lens. Only vacant nothingness and deathly stillness were left in them.

Xiao He’s heart twisted into a lump, and he anxiously shouted, “Fan Shen, Fan Shen, look at me, look at me!”

Fan Shen looked down at him earnestly. “Xiao He, don’t be afraid, you’re mine, no one can take you away, don’t be afraid…”

He wasn’t listening to him at all!

Xiao He’s heart pounded fast, and he was in a complete panic.

“Fan Shen, listen to me, I love you, I love you, Fan Shen, I really do love you!”

He spoke eagerly and sincerely, saying these heart-baring words with the utmost sweetness.

But Fan Shen was still the same, not smiling or getting angry, like a gorgeous china doll without a trace of life. He just kept repeating, “Be good, Xiao He, I’ll wash you clean.”

These calm words made Xiao He’s heart sink to rock bottom.

He hadn’t left this mental world, but he could sense...that this personality fragment was hovering on the brink of collapse.

Like Fan Chen was at first, he was in such despair that he’d lost his purpose in living.

He was sincerely asking for death.

Xiao He panicked. He held Fan Shen’s hand and explained nonstop, telling him almost everything, but the other man didn’t listen to a word!

It couldn’t go on like this, it definitely couldn’t go on like this!

Xiao He was panicking, but he knew that he couldn’t panic. Right now, he was the only one who could save Fan Shen. He had to help him. He was the only one who could do it.

He had to calm down, cool his head and think of a way!

Xiao He’s thoughts whirled, and inspiration suddenly flashed into his mind.

That’s right...his computer!

Xiao He hurriedly got up, ignoring the pain in his body, staggering to a pile of clothes and rummaging through them until he found that thing shaped like a pair of glasses.

“Fan Shen...come look at this, I’ll authorize you. There’s the memories I left behind in here, and they can’t be faked. They’re all real, look, look at them, okay?! Back then, it was only a misunderstanding, we…”

As he spoke, he transferred all the memories to Fan Shen.

Fan Chen’s disguise, Xiao He’s despair and humiliation, and the ten years he spent like a walking corpse.

These memories were lengthy, and it would take some time to look through all of them.

And Fan Shen, who had sunk into deathly stillness, slowly showed a trace of an expression. His voice was still soft and weightless, but it wasn’t as empty as before.

“Back then...you thought I’d betrayed you?”

Xiao He nodded hard, saying, “I didn’t know that Fan Chen existed. You two looked exactly the same, so I only thought that you’d fallen in love with someone else…”

“You’ve never forgotten me for the last ten years?”

“That’s right!” Xiao He’s voice was firm. He was afraid that Fan Shen would still be in doubt. “I was still alive during those ten years, but my heart had completely died.”

“You and Fan Chen weren’t together during those ten years?”

“We weren’t, we absolutely weren’t!”

Seeing the knots that had wrapped around Fan Shen unraveling little by little, Xiao He let out a slight breath of relief.

But soon, Fan Shen smiled lightly, and a trace of treachery flashed through his eyes. “Since you never loved him, why did you do that with him in prison?”

Xiao He’s heart trembled.

***

The author has something to say:

Aaahhhhhh...I played too hard yesterday and I feel a little weak today, I need to replenish my yang qi~~ Can a little shou deliver himself up~~

PS: This world is about to end~ There’s still one world left unwritten out of the five I thought up before I began this novel. Does everyone still want to read on, or should we wrap things up? (Is it maybe a little headstrong asking you like this, ahem. But they’re quick transmigration worlds, so they were always headstrong in the first place, haha)

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banoffee: 4 hours and 35 minutes for 3,116 words, or 8.8 minutes for every 100 words. An increase in rate by 1.8 minutes...😓

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